sooooo this week's been pretty uneventful and boring. I miss Jociiiiiiiiiii, I feel like I barely have anyone to talk to D: but she's coming home saturday, SO THAT'S COOL.

and speaking of saturday, I'm really really excited to go to Crooked Creek with Raven and her family for the day. FINALLY I GET TO SWIM. plus eating chips, sandwiches, and drink pepsi all dayyyy ;D epic fun tiiiimes. though, PFFT, the last time I went with them, I got the worst sunburn of my LIIIFE. oh god haha. For the first couple of days afterward I honestly couldn't move without crying. BUUUT, this time I'll be raping myself with sunscreen, yes? :D

ffffffff though, I guess I'll finally complain about this here. I always feel bad about even thinking about it, buuuuut here I go. I'm a little ehhhh about just me going with raven n' her family. last time we had another girl with us. and not that having another friend with us would help anything, but it would make me feel less uncomfortable. see, for the LONGEST time I've been kinda awkward around raven. she's like, my uber special bff for LIFE, and I love her to death, but... D: she staaaaaares at me a lot of the time. like, at my chest :| or if I'm wearing a short skirt, she'll stare at my legs. so being around her all day in my swimsuit makes me kinda like "dflkjghf". plus it doesn't help that my top is like EXTREMELY low-cut D8

I dunno why it bothers me so much. She's been in love with this guy she met at work for MONTHS now, so I know she doesn't have an interest in me. And we've known we're both bi for years. and REALLY, if I had some supermodel-megan-fox-looking chick as a friend of mine, I'd definitely steal the occassional glance D: (not that I'M anything near a supermodel-megan-fox-looking chick LOL), she just makes it really obvious and it always makes me feel awkward DDD: BUT, as always, I'll do my best to ignore it, and I know I'll spend more time having fun than worrying about it.


ALSO HARRY POTTER NEXT WEEK. EXCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITED DFLJKGF.

emo tiem.


so plans fell through AGAIN for tomorrow. and I'm almost in tears over it. how lame is that?

I'm just so tired of sitting at home, in my room, all by myself. all day. then at dinnertime I go downstairs and eat shitty food with people I can't stand. then I come back upstairs, and I sit in here, still by myself, until I go to bed.

if it's not that scenario, then I'm at work all night. I'm going to my mom's tonight, whoopee. then guess what? back home again, and then the same routine until I go to bed. then the next day? work. next day? work. next day? off, but guess what I'll be doing? nothing! and it's the same thing. every week. I feel so lonely, and I can hardly stand it anymore. I miss school so much. I miss seeing EVERYone every day. the only person I see on a regular basis anymore is raven, and that's when she's at work. I miss lindsey and courtney. I miss everyone.

I wish my life was like those girls in tv shows where them and their friends hang out ALL the time. how awesome would that be. ugh, I'm just so so tired of not doing anything with anyone. is it so difficult to be able to spend time with someone, once or twice a week? just hang out and have fun with someone?

I just feel like I don't have anything to look forward to anymore.

stolen meme from kyoudai_koibito


( cradling stones hath fire bright )

lol @ the new dragonball movie. the commercial keeps playing on nick, and seriously wtf? XD

/retarded

I LIKE HOW INDECISIVE I AM LOL.

WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHAT I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT. I SURE DON'T (:


lol oh lorrrrrrd.